Joshism.

My son Josh has Autism. I call it Joshism, because whatever it’s called, it’s just…him.

Recently I took Josh to the psychiatrist because he was on the verge of a complete shut-down. That experience was like when you take a sick puppy to the vet, and they wag their tail and act like everything is fine. In this case, Josh made a joke and got praised for his humor.

After that appointment, we headed to a Certified Autism Specialist, also referred to as a Life Coach. Josh went in first, and then I went in to join them. The first thing I hear is that I have menopause issues. What the friggity frack friggin….!!! Okay, that’s a little true, so I let it go, by breathing deep and filling myself with white light.

Then, the Life Coach asked if everyone gets along in the family. Josh said, my mom and I don’t get along, but everyone else does. No amount of deep breathing was gonna make that okay! I have been patient, kind, loving, supportive, and present for this guy every step of his life! Yes, frustration and exhaustion are high on that list too, but I don’t think that equals not getting along!  We talk, we laugh, we share, and I bend way out of my comfort zone, just to help him find his success. White light, white light, white light…

Our neighbor is a wonderful, feisty 82 year old woman named Ms. Ruth. A few days ago, Josh’s’ dad made him go back out and mow the part of our yard that he ignored the day before, plus Ms. Ruth’s yard. He fussed about it, but did it. It’s a good thing he did because this all started over a week ago when it was put on a list of things to do, then it was written down again, then he was asked to do it, then he was reminded to do it, then he was told to do it, then was told he better do it, then his dad “threatened him”, whatever that means. Ms. Ruth just came over to tell Josh thank you, and how nice he was for mowing her yard, and how much she appreciates him. Josh said, ‘you’re welcome; it’s not a problem at all.’  The white light has turned to steam shooting out of my ears!

It is very difficult for me to know why he does or doesn’t do something.  As soon as I think I’ve got it figured out, it all changes, so I’m back to guessing again.  For example, when a doctor recently told me to just leave him alone and see what would happen…nothing happened! I mean nothing! No self-care, no interaction with other humans, no action was taken for any purpose.  He even missed activities that he had been looking forward to and typically enjoys.  So, the impression that he can get himself together when there’s something he wants to do, didn’t hold true in this experiment.  I’m back to not having a clue.

I told Josh that I don’t know if it’s Asperger’s or if he’s just being a jerk! He said, ‘either way, there’s an ass involved.’ That my friends, is Joshism.

Listen to the Podcast  – JHA004: What is Joshism?