That Thing That Works

~Clearly Muddled Blog~

Helping a person with Autism orchestrate and organize their life is hard work. Especially when that person (me) is unorganized and haphazard by nature. Finding that thing that works and getting it to stick is like winning the super bowl! The payoff is huge, and worth every ounce of effort…and foul language used in the process (me again).

Coming up with a plan to help Josh stay on task is the difficult part for me. I don’t like rules, conforming, or falling in line, so the rigid ways of autism are a shock to my system. Well, that implies I have a system, which I don’t.  Patience is not one of my virtues, and my “normal” is typically considered unorthodox.  If I had a past life, I was probably a passenger on the Mayflower…and the first one to say, ‘are we there yet?’

So, it’s not surprising at all that the magic solution didn’t come from me, but rather a middle-aged man on the autism spectrum.  He suggested that Josh use the need for patterns to his benefit when it comes to managing his adult responsibilities. The idea is to view all things as part of the pattern that he already has in his head and routine and placing the responsibility before his perceived benefit means he now has consequences.

Guess what? It works!! Just in case you’re a speed reader and missed the intended inflection of that statement, I’ll say it again. IT WORKS!!!!! Josh has been including his responsibilities in his normal daily pattern and he’s able to remember to do things without having to be prompted or redirected.  This has been going on this way for over a week. A wonderful freaking week!

For those of you that don’t live with a person with autism, I’ll use an analogy. It’s like when your partner never seems to be able to put their dirty clothes IN the hamper, but instead the clothes have been tossed in the direction of the hamper, forever, and then all the sudden the clothes are in the hamper! Woohoo! Just multiply the feelings of before and after tenfold to the square root of infinity, and that’s how both ends of my spectrum have been. It’s nothing short of astounding.

I’m elated for Josh, for me, for our family, and for other’s that might be helped by this approach. These are some rules this new age dippy can live with! Josh is happy. Life is good.

Listen to the Podcast: JHA038: Responsible Patterns | https://sonyaking.com/jha038-responsible-patterns