~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Josh and I talk a lot about what it feels like in his body to be Autistic. We talk about the different emotions that come up for him and in what types of situations. But because he’s historically had a difficult time relaying what he’s

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Josh is constantly aware of what’s going on around him. He might not know how to express it in words, but he feels it in his body and it ramps up his brain frequency to an uncomfortable level. Sleep is sometimes the only thing that

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ I grew up in San Diego, California, one block from the beach. Specifically, I lived in Pacific Beach and had sand in my toes just about everyday…unless I was busy breaking bones or getting a concussion doing some other activity. “Ride the wave” was a

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Medication is not always the answer…but sometimes it is. With a diagnosis of Autism and ADD, no other modality or treatment seems to help Josh as much, at this time in his life. So, when it was time to pick up his medication and the

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Telephobia is a real thing – it’s a fear of talking on the phone. It’s thought to be an extension of social anxiety disorder, and it creates legit problems for people that need to have conversations via the telephone. I didn’t realize that some people

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Because Josh has Autism he deals with sensory overload on a regular basis. When he’s in a situation where he has multiple demands placed on him, he says it builds up to uncomfortable, and then becomes flat out painful. Josh has had years of therapy

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ When Josh was teeny tiny, I was told that he would probably never speak. This week he gave a speech about effectively communicating with someone that has Autism. He caused people to laugh, and cry, and they were moved by his message. He speaks. Leave

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Josh’s room is a mess. He calls it organized chaos, but it looks like it needs to be cleaned, disinfected…or burned! He says he knows where everything goes and he likes it just as it is. When I walk into his room my head spins

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Josh’s favorite people to hang out with are the characters of whatever current book he’s reading. He doesn’t watch television, so our time together usually involves eating, and eating, and eating, and then going out to eat. We all know that he needs his alone

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ It’s time for another SSI review. Sonya and Josh talk about the ins and outs of that process. Listen, Like, Share. Read my latest blog and check out my site at www.sonyaking.com Listen to the Podcast: Josh Has Autism #159: SSI Review | https://sonyaking.com/josh-has-autism-159-ssi-review Leave

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ It might seem at times that a person with Autism isn’t cooperating, or that the laying around couch potato style is useless. People that don’t understand Autism might think the necessary down time is laziness. But boy, that misses the mark entirely. It’s Incorrect. It’s

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Josh and Sonya talk about how difficult it is for him to understand others, when masks are covering their faces.  Listen, Like, Share. Read my latest blog and check out my site at www.sonyaking.com Listen to the Podcast: Josh Has Autism #164: Covid and Masks

~Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Today we talk about the difficulty of retaining information in conversations. Listen, Like, Share. Read my latest blog and check out my site at www.sonyaking.com Leave us a note if you like this episode! Love to hear from you. Listen to the Podcast: Josh Has Autism

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Today Bug is on the podcast talking about setting up services with the school for Connor.  Listen, Like, Share. Read my latest blog and check out my site at www.sonyaking.com Leave us a note if you like this episode! Love to hear from you. Listen

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Sonya and Josh talk about Josh removing himself from situations when he’s feeling overwhelmed.  Listen, Like, Share. Read my latest blog and check out my site at www.sonyaking.com Leave us a note if you like this episode! Love to hear from you. Listen to the

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Listen to the Podcast: Josh Has Autism #155: The Mutiny | https://sonyaking.com/josh-has-autism-155-the-mutiny

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Leave us a note if you like this episode! Love to hear from you. Listen to the Podcast: Josh Has Autism #144: I Don’t Hear You | https://sonyaking.com/josh-has-autism-144-i-dont-hear-you

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Leave us a note if you like this episode! Love to hear from you. Listen to the Podcast: Josh Has Autism #141: Workin’ Man | https://sonyaking.com/josh-has-autism-141-workin-man

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Leave us a note if you like this episode! Love to hear from you. Listen to the Podcast: Josh Has Autism #140: Ah-Ha! | https://sonyaking.com/josh-has-autism-140-ah-ha

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Leave us a note if you like this episode! Love to hear from you. Listen to the Podcast: Josh Has Autism #139: Stuck | https://sonyaking.com/josh-has-autism-139-stuck

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Leave us a note if you like this episode! Love to hear from you. Listen to the Podcast: Josh Has Autism #137: Hired | https://sonyaking.com/josh-has-autism-137-hired

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Leave us a note if you like this episode! Love to hear from you. Listen to the Podcast: Josh Has Autism #136: Call Back | https://sonyaking.com/josh-has-autism-136-call-back

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Leave us a note if you like this episode! Love to hear from you. Listen to the Podcast: Josh Has Autism #135: Home Again | https://sonyaking.com/josh-has-autism-135-home-again

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Leave us a note if you like this episode! Love to hear from you. Listen to the Podcast: Josh Has Autism #134: Job Interview. What Happened?| https://sonyaking.com/josh-has-autism-134-job-interview-what-happened

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Nana’s been in the ICU. I’ll post my podcast on Saturday. Thanks…   This link will be active then… Leave us a note if you like this episode! Love to hear from you. Listen to the Podcast: Josh Has Autism #132: ICU | https://sonyaking.com/josh-has-autism-132-icu

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Leave us a note if you like this episode! Love to hear from you. Listen to the Podcast: Josh Has Autism #131: Applying for a Job| https://sonyaking.com/josh-has-autism-131-applying-for-a-job

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Leave us a note if you like this episode! Love to hear from you. Listen to the Podcast: Josh Has Autism #130: Medication Revamp| https://sonyaking.com/josh-has-autism-130-medication-revamp

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Photo only today Leave us a note if you like this episode! Love to hear from you. Listen to the Podcast: Josh Has Autism #129: Spoons | https://sonyaking.com/josh-has-autism-129-spoons

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ My autistic son Josh told me that he feels like he’s running a hurdle race on the way to start the main race. The main race is whatever he’s required to do on any given day. That sounds exhausting. The derailment isn’t the “thing” or

~ Clearly Muddled Blog~ Right now the majority of us are coming out of a year long government imposed hibernation. For me, it feels like the scene in the movie Hocus Pocus when the spell kept everyone dancing all night long, and then everyone came outside exhausted, and blinded by

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Why don’t people get the things done that they say they want to get done? A better question might be how do people ever get anything done, given the busyness going on around us all the time! For someone with autism it’s even harder because

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Sometimes a giant “ah-ha” happens, almost by accident. Something can be right in front of me, but all a sudden, I see it for what feels like the very first time, and it makes it easier to come up with a new approach. It started

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ People on the autism spectrum are awesome. At least the ones I’ve met are. Day to day living with the ones in my family takes patience, understanding, and sticktoitiveness. I’m SURE they’d say the same thing about me. Living with someone takes some getting used

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Autism often comes with a heaping helping of anxiety. About everything! That buzzing, intrusive, never letting up companion, can derail the best of intentions. Work life for someone on the spectrum can feel exhausting, and for more significant reasons than the ones us neurotypicals whine

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ My autistic son is brilliant! When it comes time to write down the things that bounce around in that huge brain of his, he gets stuck. The ideas are racing, but he can’t move. Writing assignments were difficult when he was in school because if

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Life is a series of “I get it” moments. Those moments deserve recognition and celebration…especially when the person having those moments has autism. For Josh, no matter how hard he tries, some things just don’t stick. Some of those things he’s probably got the right

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ As I got older and became an adult I was expected to take on more responsibility for myself. At first it was cool because I experienced the freedom to do what I wanted…like eat ice cream for dinner, drink wine through a piece of licorice,

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Our beautiful and amazing dog Oliver died. It was sudden…and my autistic son Josh dislikes sudden change more than anything. Well, that was the way it used to be. Now he dislikes sudden change mixed with grief more than anything. Oliver’s death was hard on

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ My autistic son Josh has worked very hard to be able to “gear up”when it’s time to engage with others.  Whether it’s family get togethers or venturing out into the land of neurotypicals, he has figured out how to prepare for social interaction. So, he’s figured

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ I’ve lived with my autistic son for 32 years. Now, in an experiment of monumental importance, he’s moved out. Well, I moved into a new house and didn’t take him! Haha! Sad face! Both. I’m so used to having Josh under the same roof, that I

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ It’s a new year! Thank God, or Goddess, your lucky stars, or whatever got you here! You made it through 2020…the stinkiest armpit of all years in recent history! And if 2020 was an armpit, December was it’s stench. Cheers to those on the autism

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ The idea is that as you grow older, you also begin to act like a grown up, but  that looks different from person to person. Some people are financially responsible, and some forget to pay the bills. Some take hygiene seriously, and others are living examples

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ My grandson, Connor, was just diagnosed with Autism and ADHD.  I figured it was coming, but hoped it wouldn’t. I’m not saying anything negative about anyone that has those diagnoses…I can only speak about what it’s like living with, caring for, and loving someone that does.

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Autism is about intense sensory episodes, and the processing of those experiences. For Josh, an additional frustration is the inability to readily identify what’s happening to him physically. For me, the frustration is always having to be flexible with my expectations of him because it’s

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Social Security said Josh no longer had a disability. They removed his Autism diagnosis from his documentation and file. They sent him to a hired gun psychiatrist who said he is no longer qualified for SSI because his status of being “learning disabled” has improved.

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ It’s almost Election Day. I hope everyone votes, and no one gets hurt. What a weird thing to have to hope for. Josh was raised in a little town of around 3 hundred people. That number fluctuated slightly, based on who was born, and who

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Wayne Dyer said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”. That basically means that your experience can change, based on where you place your focus. How do you change focus when you’ve got a kid with autism? I

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Sometimes I need a little space. Autism doesn’t understand that at all! When I’m exhausted and don’t have anything left to give, Autism doesn’t care. At times when I could use a minute for myself, Autism doesn’t let up. During high stress situations, Autism demands

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Everyone needs downtime after stressful situations…Josh takes that concept to a whole new recliner! When it’s done, he’s done. If I get quiet enough I can almost hear the melody of the fat lady’s song. Recovery time for Josh is mandatory in order for him

~Clearly Muddled Blog Grief is not just reserved for those that have lost a person to death. When illness and disease change the way a loved one can function, we all change how we live. Because those on the spectrum like things to stay the same, it’s a quandary. Josh

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ “Peace begins when expectations end”. That’s a quote from the awesome Buddha. “If you love me you’d know what I want”. That’s a quote from me when I was in my twenties…and a complete idiot. Living with someone on the autism spectrum is like riding

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ We’ve done one hundred Josh Has Autism Podcasts! It’s been an awakening; unfiltered, funny, and emotional. Thank you for coming along with us on this adventure. Without you, there would be no reason for us to stuff ourselves into a small space, hit record, share

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ A couple of days ago Josh and I were walking past an apartment and heard a guy threatening and hitting a woman. We heard him throw her against the door. In those moments that left me shaking with a rush of adrenaline, Josh was the

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ When you have a child with autism you get to live in the presence of genuine authenticity, and purity of heart.  You get to see what it’s like inside the velvet rope, where everyone is accepted, what is said is exactly what is meant, and speaking

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Self regulating is a huge deal. It’s basically the ability to control behaviors, emotions, and thoughts, and to manage detrimental behaviors and impulses in order to achieve long term goals.  It often makes the difference in success or failure. If you’d like a visual of

~ Clearly Muddled Blog~ Josh has Autism…and depression. So, when the opportunity to receive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation Therapy for the latter, it was a no brainer. Well, it was a brainer…the front left lobe to be exact. For six weeks, five days a week, twenty minutes at a time, his

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Coworkers can help make 40 hours a week productive and fulfilling, they sometimes become amazing friends, and they can also be the spawn of Satan himself. People on the spectrum are kind, decent humans. I see them, and they are the better part of our

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Josh went to the emergency room today because of an injury he got at Walmart. I knew back when they stopped handing out smiley face stickers there was gonna be trouble! Here’s what happened: Josh picked up a single case of water off a wooden

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Having a kid with autism at times reminds me of when I’ve had to cram for a test that I forgot to study for. I need all the information NOW to know what the answer is, but I can’t seem to process and utilize it all.  Knowing

~Clearly Muddled Blog~ Josh is thirty-one years old, and today, for the very first time ever, he’s seeing an Autism Specialist. He’s seen people with autism experience, was diagnosed originally by the the head of child psychiatry at Walter Reed Medical Hospital, and has benefitted by working with countless professionals

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ I like to exercise. It helps me sleep better, think clearer, and as a huge bonus, it keeps me from being a big fat cranky pants. Josh on the other hand does not like to exercise because it creates sensory overload. He used a treadmill

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Doing stand up comedy is basically having a conversation with someone…there just happens to be a whole bunch of someone’s.  We take turns using our voices, and while I’m sharing my insight, the audience interprets and reacts. It’s a perfect way for someone on the

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Things…many, many things need to be done the way Josh needs them to be done. For a while I thought that he was making a choice in being so precise, exact…and honestly, a pain in the butt! Turns out, his need for patterns and rhythm

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Extra, extra, read all about it! The world ma be in chaos these days, but when you have a kid on the autism spectrum you’ve gotta move steady ahead. So, it’s not really new news, it’s the same ole news. Recycled, really. Here’s what’s been

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Marriage and Autism. It can happen! There are a million things I was told Josh would never do – one of them was get married. It’s weird when doctors decide that kind of stuff for someone.  Not one of them can tell me whether he’s

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Depression squishes the joy out of the most joyous occasions. If the occasion is just so-so to begin with, it just squishes.  Watching my son Josh get squished is a hard thing to witness. There’s a new to us therapy called TMS. It stands for Transcranial

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ During a conversation with a close friend today, she said ‘you can’t save everybody’. It occurred to me right then that for the past 31 years I’ve been trying to save one particular person…my autistic son. I’m tired. And frustrated. And hopeful. I’ve worked hard

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ The thing about autism is that it changes the way it looks, and at the same time requires similitude. So, I work to create the routine my autistic son requires, and because his sensory sensitivity directs how life goes, I am always needing to adjust

~ Clearly Muddled ~  I got a letter from the Social Security Administration letting me know that they’ve decided that Josh no longer has a disability. I found the address of the person that made that decision…Josh will be on their doorstep early tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, he doesn’t function very

~ CLEARLY MUDDLED BLOG ~ Everything is changing at warp speed, and because change is a replacement for what used to be, it always comes with some sort of loss. It’s not always negative, but when you have autism, it takes a couple extra beats for it to make sense…and

~ The Way Home ~ They say home is where the heart is. But what if you’re so lost you that you can’t find your way home? And you’re heart…is just broken. In 2015 I moved kicking and screaming from our home of eighteen years, the place where our kids

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ When life becomes a giant juggling act, Josh has figured out his approach; just don’t think about it. He’s really good at that. I’m not. Selling a house involves all kinds of strangers coming into our space, needing all kinds of questions answered, leading to

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Selling a house is stressful. Moving and leaving all that is familiar is stressful. And getting everything and everybody ready for both, is exhausting. That’s exactly where Josh and I are right now. We’re pooped! He’s been shutting down and withdrawing, and I’ve been making a

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Parents worry about their kids, that’s just the way it is. But when your child is autistic, that worry turns into fear on a whole new level. The real concern is – what will happen to them once I’m gone. Who will take care of

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ It seems like after living the last thirty years with my autistic son I would be able to forecast his behaviors.  But, I’m like Charlie Brown to his Lucy…I get lulled into trusting that this time it will be different, and I go for it,

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Josh knows how he feels at any given time.  He’s keenly aware of his body’s reaction to stress, and can explain the difference in anxiety, depression, and the current experience of gray. Things are not his preferred black and white these days. That is a

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ The word “Autistic” was first used in 1912 to describe symptoms of schizophrenia. Oops!  In 1943 they got it closer to right, and “autism” was used as a diagnostic term to describe a social and emotional disorder.  I say closer to right because sometime during

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ We’re moving. It’s exciting and terrifying! Simple changes can throw Josh off, so picking up and moving from Florida to Virginia has the potential to shut him down for a long period of time. I’m not guessing here, it’s exactly what happened the last time

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Some things just make sense. Josh wanting to work at a library is one of them. His favorite thing to do is read, his second favorite thing to do is talk about the books he’s currently reading, or ones he has already read. Books make

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Much of the time, conversations with Josh feel very one sided. What I’m talking about is beyond the prompting, redirecting, and reminding…it’s about not being heard or acknowledged. I get an “okay” or an occasional “uh-huh” and that’s usually about it. Sometimes I say to him

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Up until last week Josh seemed to be pluggin along just fine. He was working, going to his beloved D and D, and accomplishing his household responsibilities. Well, that last one was a big, fat, sort of! Out of nowhere though, he crashed…boom he was

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ I got to talk to a mom today that co-authored a book about autism. Twelve moms contributed…each with a story all their own, each with a child on the autism spectrum, and each sharing their experience and knowledge. A collaboration like this is unusual, and

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. Because one of the common characteristics of autism is having difficulty with social interaction, and because I see that Josh enjoys his alone time so much, I never really thought of him as being lonely.

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Everyone experiences anxiety at some point, but for someone that has an anxiety disorder it can invade every aspect of life. My son-in-law (RJ) describes it as a constant buzzing or vibration that he feels throughout his entire body. Josh says he feels it in

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ The social security administration is super easy to navigate. HAHAHAHA!! Laugh or cry – those are my choices….so I put on my big girl britches and fill out paperwork, call and then wait on hold, get bad information, call again, get hung up on, go

  ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ 2016 went out with a bang. A bang that sounded like a head-on collision. The next ten minutes was a frantic race to get to the scene of the accident. Driving was something that the doctors said that Josh would never do.  But he was

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ There’s so much going on all around us that it’s surprising to me that anyone gets anything done. I get distracted easily, so my life only runs smoothly when I’m able to concentrate or focus on one thing at a time. Because of Josh, I’m

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Everyone can use a mentor! When Josh was growing up, we didn’t have anyone that had gone through what we were dealing with, and he didn’t have anyone in his life that had autism. We had therapy. We had tons of therapy! Turns out, I

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ I love animals! I think the idea that humans are the superior species is a giant pile of horse dung. A couple of things I really dig about animals are the fact that they don’t pretend to be something other than what they are, and

~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Moving into the adulting phase of life is a crazy ride! I’m not sure how I survived it with all the stupid stuff I did. Watching my autistic son traverse that bumpy road is both heart-wrenching and hysterical. The latter is for me, because if

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ When Josh was a toddler, he screeched a lot. A lot! It didn’t seem to follow a pattern, and I couldn’t tell if he was in pain, if he wanted something, or if he was just cranky.  I didn’t know sensory overload was even a

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Lately, a new pattern of sorts has developed with Josh. On a regular basis I’ve heard myself asking him “where’d you go”? I mean it literally and figuratively because he’s been MIA and mentally unavailable. I get it – I want to be both of

 ~ Clearly Muddled Blog ~ Family, food, friends, food, Santa Claus, food, festivities, food, food, food…Josh REALLY likes one of these, and can only take the others in spurts. He’s learned to be social and enjoys it on his terms. Making sure he took a “Christmas Break” when he needed it